Just a picture, but a lovely picture for your cardiologist.  Mmmm Meat…

“Smoky Link Pasties”

So, I was at this great burlesque show… the women there were beautiful and all of them were wearing cocktail wieners.  Oh wait, it’s just a pastry (a stuffed sandwich).   From the cookbook: “Cornish miners are said to have invented the Pasty.  It was a lunch that could be carried to the mine; and at noon it was still warm and ready to be eaten out of hand”.

“Friar’s Coffee Cake”

I like sausage occasionally.  I like coffee cake too.  But the Friar’s coffee cake just doesn’t quite work for me.  I know sweet and smoky is good; pancake syrup with bacon or sausage is good.  But to combine a pound of sausage links and cook them into the coffee cake?  Probably a bridge too far for me..

“Smokie Cosmopolitan”

I think someone was high and cleared out their pantry when coming up with this bizarre combination of ingredients.  The cookbook hardly makes a convincing argument to try this: “Economical, yet unusual enough to serve guests”.  Yeah it’s cheap to make, yet weird.   Unusual can be cheap too.

“Western Wiener Scallop”

On the same page, the sequel to the smokie cosmopolitan.  The picture looks like you just dumped a few things lying around into the pot.  I don’t know if a starving college student would be too happy with this sight either.

“Wiener Chow Mein”

A double winner!  Winner: Worst Fusion Dish.  Winner: Least authentic Chinese dish ever made!  In the dish’s favor, the cookbook says it’s “Speedy – Good for Campers”.  Mixing a pound of hot dogs, cans of cream of chicken soup, cream of mushroom soup, and canned noodles might be speedy, but I’m willing to wait for a better dish.  Life is short, but I have the time.  This dish gives the slow food movement an ulcer.

“Weiner Tacos”

Wait!  Stop!  We have a tie!  Another double winner for worst fusion dish and least authentic dish.  I must admit, as a kid I had the ground beef tacos with the supermarket spice packet for taco meat.  I had the pre-made tacos shells.  My parents were gringos and had jobs.  I even kind of like those tacos once in a blue moon.  But my parents were never so desperate for time or dinner ideas that they tried to cook hot dogs with the spice mix and place the hot dogs into taco shells.

“Teeny Wieners” and “Little Wiener Wraps”

Both recipes are on the same page.  I couldn’t make this up.  There are so many possible punch lines that I don’t even know where to start.  It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.  I think the latter name was a very unsuccessful Trojan product.“Bacon drippings make popcorn taste oh-so-good”

I had to try this, but didn’t have enough bacon fat to try it according to the recipe.  No, it’s NOT dripped over the popped corn, like I though it was at first glance.  You just pop the corn in the drippings.  It is slightly better, but it’s probably easier to go get a hunk of lard.  The lard version would still probably be better for you than old-school movie popcorn in coconut oil.